Is an office romance a good idea?
As anyone who’s been there will testify trying to balance romance and a job in the same place isn’t always easy. But for those of you who are already or are tempted to go there, here are some tips to make sure your job or your career doesn’t suffer:
Attention is not always mutual
If the advances of a colleague does not interest you, or if you already have a partner, clearly communicate this to your workmate to avoid misunderstandings. If someone you approach tells you the same, respect their wishes and remain professional.
Consider whether a relationship is worth the risk
Imagine the worse case scenario – the relationship ends badly and you feel one of you must move Departments of leave your position because the daily contact will be too stressful. My advice is to take things slowly, get to know the other person well and gain a solid understanding of your mutual intentions before committing.
Make your situation public knowledge as soon as possible
If something serious does develop a brief word with direct workmates is a good idea before somebody else does it for you, it’s always best to be open about working relationships, never try to keep them a secret.
Keep kisses outside of work
I know it might be difficult but displays of affection should be kept out of the workplace. Keep your hugs, cuddles and nicknames for outside work. Your workmates don’t want to be witness to your relationship so keep it to yourself.
Don’t share details of your relationship with workmates
Never be tempted to discuss your relationship in detail with others at work. An office relationship will always benefit from discretion. Anyway no-one really wants to know what you get up to when you are alone with your lover.
Refrain from making personal jokes
Do not make personal jokes with your love mate this only serves to separate you and your partner from other team members and might affect how you get along with others in the workplace.
Spend your lunch break with your workmates
I highly recommend that you do not creep off with your partner at lunch time to have private time together, there is plenty of opportunity to do this outside work. By spending time with workmates during breaks you will be seen as part of the team.
Don’t talk about work issues with your partner
Your lover is not a sounding board for your work problems, properly enjoying your free time together means doing and talking about other things. If one of you must talk through a work issue make sure you keep it short and it doesn’t take over your free time.
Be independent
Spending so much time together, at work and in the evenings and at weekends, can be a challenge, so make sure you find things to do away from one another. Don’t drop your friends and family, also keep up your hobbies and interests. Being with someone 24/7 is not healthy.
If it doesn’t work out end things professionally
If unfortunately the relationship is not a success it could be tricky. But if you have clear, mature conversations with your ex-partner it can be manageable. If you break up agree on rules for how you want to interact with one another at work. Work is not a playground so its important that you are both grown up about this.
So to summarize lasting relationships require discipline, attention and dedication. This is even truer for relationships that happen at work. But if you really care about your partner and you are well suited it can work. It’s difficult to balance work and love but the benefits can be very rewarding.
Good Luck